Dang Ol' Grabby Sam
by Daphners
Summary: Luanne finds herself trapped by "grabby sam" the handsy quarterback who her uncle Hank set her up with. Luckily, a faithful neighbour comes to the rescue. (ONESHOT)


The neon letters planted on the front of 'Ugly's Saloon' had flickered off. The remaining dancers inside were milling around out front, heading to their cars or chatting with one another. Luanne Platter had followed Wade back to his car. He complimented her, and she back to him. Luanne felt her heart fluttering. If had been the first time since her breakup with Buckley that she felt anything but the icy cold swirl in her chest.

"So you play football?" Luanne asked nervously.

The handsome Quarterback tipped his cowboy hat. "Yes, ma'am." He replied.

"Wow." Luanne giggled, tucking a piece of blond hair behind her ear.

"So… what do you want to do now?" Luanne asked.

Wade gave a dazzling smile. "I had a few ideas."

Before Luanne knew it Wade's lips were pressed against hers. Soon his hand was on her waist. Luanne kissed back, but then felt her stomach drop as his hand moved to her inner thigh. She pulled away.

"Aren't we moving a little fast?" She said, shoving his hand away.

"What did you expect?" Wade retorted. "C'mon baby, just let yourself go."

His lips were back to hers. Luanne tried to pull away, but her back pressed against the door behind her. She moved one hand behind her back and fumbled for the door handle that seemed to be non-existent.

"Wade...STOP IT!" She screamed, finally breaking free of Wade's grip.

Suddenly a figure outside behind the driver's window made Luanne freeze. Wade noticed and craned his neck to see what Luanne was staring at. The driver's door jerked open, and a fist reached in, grabbing Wade by the scruff of his neck and pulling him backwards.

"Hey, hey, hey!" Wade growled as he was pulled to his feet.

Luanne felt relief wash over her when she saw who it was. "Boomhauer."

"What's your problem?" Wade asked, glaring at the blond man.

"Tell you what man, dang ol' looking for a whoopin, keep grabbing at that girl man, talkin bout four on one man, leave her alone."

Wade stared, puzzled. "Who's this, your boyfriend?" He asked, leaning back into the driver's seat.

"No." Luanne replied. She looked at Boomhauer. "Can you give me a lift?"

Boomhauer nodded, giving a last glare to Wade.

"Thanks again, Mr. Boomhauer." Luanne said meekly as they drove back to Rainy St. "I don't know what would have happened if you didn't come along."

"Dang ol', nothing, man."

They faded back to silence. The radio echoed in Luanne's ears, but her mind was on what just happened. She could still feel Wade's hand on waist, pulling at her shirt, his fingers digging into her as she tried to pull away.

She let out a sob. "I'm so stupid!" She cried. "First Buckley now Wade. What's wrong with me?"

Boomhauer glanced at her, feeling awkward. He could think of what to say. He pressed the accelerator harder, hoping the trip would be over soon.

Luanne's sobs drowned out the radio. She hugged her knees to her chest and cried into them. Boomhauer eyed her shoes scraping against his upholstery, but said nothing.

"Uh..." He began, unsure. "Luanne, man, forget about, dang ol' Buckley, man. Talkin bout, ol', jackass."

Luanne surfaced for air. Boomhauer reached into the glove compartment and handed her a tissue. Despite the look of it, Luanne wiped the streams of tears on her face and blew her nose. "Maybe you're right, Mr Boomhauer."

"Mmhmm." He replied, eyes peeled on the road. He turned to Luanne and gave a small smile.

Soon they were home, at the end of Uncle Hank's driveway. Luanne had settled herself down and straightened herself up. Boomhauer stepped outside and made his way to the passenger. He opened Luanne's door and she stepped out.

"Goodnight, thanks for the lift." She said.

Boomhauer smiled. Luanne leaned forward and planted a soft kiss on Boomhauer's cheek.

Just then, the sliding glass door shot open, and a furious looking Hank Hill was making his way across the lawn.

* * *

_Thanks for reading!_

_Sort of a deleted scene from S01E05 – Luanne's Saga._

_Ever since I saw this episode I've been shipping Luanne/Boomhauer. I didn't want to make a full on romantic fic, but I think it's pretty cute. Oh how I wanted them together :( haha Anyway, I hope I stayed true to the characters. It's always hard writing dialogue for a character like Boomhauer, though hehe  
_

_Anyways, twas just for fun! :D  
_


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